me with ....

hello, are you free now??

"me"

yaa, you only

"yaa, I am. go ahead"

I would had gone ahead, though just stopped to check last time if you are available, as I am consistantly trying to reach you since past so many days, but you never seems to be free..

"ok, now rather than beating around the bush, can you please directly come to point, I am really tired of"

I should come to point, I thought you want to talk to me, that;s why I came.

"me?? who told you so??"

I don't need anyone to tell me that, or do I?

"ok, if you are so much enlightened and resourceful then go ahead and say whatever you want to, and let me die again as I need to run tomorrow"

Nothing, I just want to tell you or rather than ask you why are you running?? for what is that which you want to acheive for which you are not even caring what is leaving behiend. This is not the first time you are in such a situation, am I right?

"I want to be known, have all that whatever is available"

and then, what will you do, will that make you happy?

"I think yes, but why are you so sucpicious"

because I am seeing you loosing more than you are gaining, and it pinches me.. i feel like helping you, but you are so busy that you always ignore me..

"what do you mean"

I will not be available to tell you that, you need to figure that out by yourself, but just to remind you, that nothing is going to be with you forever, everything is momentory, and it is more important to savor the taste and enjoy journey than being in a hurry to reach destination, because in this case destination is not much predefined..

"You are making me confuse about all"

That's is what your way of looking at the things is. You are so drowned in yourself, that you have closed yourself from everything. And you call yourself intelligent, though as it looks to me, you clearly are one of best fools around.

"You are now insulting me"

This is just your ego, big fat ego that makig you feel looked down. though I am standing besides you. You need to relax a bit, try to feel the journey, enjoy the morning breeze, let the rays of sun touch your face, let the noon play with your shadow, see it following, let the evening touch your cheeks.

"I don;t have time for all this"

It't not that yuo don;t have time, it's that you don;t want to have that. There is a basic difference between having and giving, and you are not open for later one. I am suggesting that you start opening up a bit, no one can steal things which are your's and nothing can stop those which are not.

"I hate everyone including myself, and please don;t do all this, I hate you too. Where were you in those times when as I kid I use to cry for attention"

I was besides you to give you enough power to cry

"wow, what an explanation, and where were you when as a young guy, when all my dreams were shaken apart"

I was again standing besides you to give you enough power to carry on

"bullshit, and where were you when I got all the kicks and rejection from this world. it;s filthy habitat made me suffocate, I letted my storm die inside because I was never allowed to let it go off... and what were you doing then"

I was then also, making sure that you have enough power to sail through and made sure that you realize that life never stops...

"that is what I hate from, it should... it must... it ought to... silence is better than pain.. I don;t wanna anymore.. I don;t I had already had so much that I can;t take anymore.. please don;t come to save me... when I am not wanting.. why you always pushing.. I hate it.. I just wanna be so silent that when these sound drops on my eardrums, they feel helpless to make any kind of effect, the false light of this worls can;t make my ratina move, I no more wanna intake this filthy air.. I just don;t... if you can do something... please help me in that way"

I am sorry, I can;t help you as you wanna... and I am going..

and with a spoof... he went away... leaving me alone... too alone.. shouting from behiend for him to stop.. with my throad getting too thirsty.. voice getting down..

suddenly I realised that I am drentched.. completely in my sweat.. while room temperature is 7 degree... and I am dripping with sweat... who was he.. i don't have anything to answer...

One more dream... dream of me with myself.. at 4:30 am in morning... and I came out to take a walk and also light up another stick to burn off the thoughts... but can they be burnt??