image management

It's a Sunday morning and you lying early morning on a beach side.., sun trying to climb up for a long day run in sky, wind carrying a due and fragrances, birds chirping in ecstasy, and trees dancing with flowing wind and producing music. What a wonderful moment, what a pleasant surroundings, what a moment to capture.. you and just you.. what a wonderful feeling.. heart ponding on it and eyes savoring all the taste they can..

Now brake up and take a complete you turn.. yes a you do take a U turn.. it's a Wednesday evening, after a long working day.. I am sitting here at office, where I can't see sky, and tube lights produce same kind of light indifferent of the time of day. Hence it's virtually impossible to gauze the time of day except you eye that computer screen for clock. Sales people have replaced the chirping of birds and as it is month end hence their language has all kind of politically challenged words, and their voice is rocking on roof top. And here I am sitting, perplexed, with the feelings generated by something which happened during course of day and is now trying to get onto my nerves slowly and gradually, mixed with environmental factors and it's by-products.

I guess I am too confused right now.. you might challenge this saying that as if I am not same most of times, but this is time of those times... I am completely in hallucination.. knowing that what is right still not able to wear that..

And don;t think it;s after effect of India getting kicked out in world cup... I will be last person to get effected due to that I guess.. because they are outside of the circle of confluence.. yes.. they are..

Confused about this words "circle".. ok.. let me try to confuse you more.. actually I have divided people in three categories (influence of carrying those thick physics books and sharing bed with them).. first one is circle in which falls those whom I am concerned with.. anything with them.. and I loose my equilibrium of body, mind and soul..
Then overlapping this, comes the circle of those with whom I interact and who carries virtually zero influence. If they say or do something, it need to pass through my scanner of sanitation and only things which gets certified will be allowed to enter.. no tress passers..
Then comes third circle where whatever happen, carries no influence on my state of equilibrium..

Now doesn;t that sounds too confusing.. and what it had to do with my present.. I guess it does... I hate any change.. any change which can even try to disturb the equilibrium.. though I know I can hardly do anything to save it.. but then.. it is that way... can;t help..

And last two weeks had been enough to disturb it more than thrice.. I lost my Tauji.. I missed my mom like hell.. and I had to change my course of action for someone who doesn't even exist on the umbrella.. but I guess that;s what life is all about..

"Kuch to log kaheinge.. logon ka kaam hai kehna.." playing on winamp.. what a co incidence.. I guess this is what timing is all about..

"Life is about missing expected things and getting unexpected, it doesn;t matter what you think or you are, what matters is what people think you are.. "

love for me

"I love you".. are probaly the most used words in today's love oriented society. If originatorof these words would had put on a royality charges of .10 paise on usage of these... I guess probably he could had employed Bill Gates to open gates of his buglow.

"Love".. the one magical wod which we all know about.. hear about, talk about and we all practice it day in and day out.. isn;t that? isn;t it a word which is probably the most powerful word which is used in all different ways and has it;s own industry around.

Raising eyebro's on what am I saying.. look around.. it is easier to spot a donkey with his horns while you are on your morning walk rather than spoting a movie or TV serial which doesn;t have love angle or flavor in it.

I can clearly spot those fumes coming out of your nostrils, and before you come and burn me with them, let me clear, I am not talking about that boy-girl and the third kind of love here.. Love for me is not that small to be bounded with these frames.. rather love is something which is as free and as undefined as birth or death..

Now coming back to square one.. means from origination of this thought.. a simple question to all of us.. do we really know what is love?? can we love someone? or have we ever been loved?

for example.. for us, loving a girl or guy mean that he need to adjust, we need to change ourself acording to subject in question, we need to "improve" as they say, but isn't that adjustment? is love is a second form or synonym or adjustment then what is new in it??

I feel we are born with pure love and been curreptud by the ways of environment including our parents. Here I by no means disrespecting parents, and I wil be the last person to do that, what I mean here is that because they were also born in this word only and had faced same kind of situations so they gave to the best what they had..
infact if we trail it to end.. mean ADAM and EVE, they were also not been loved by God.. don;t eat from that tree? and when they did.. they were thrown out of heaven.. isn;t that use of coercive power.. isn;t that keeping the object to what we feel suitable.. but is that love? I mean keeping someone to what we feel is right is love? or is it just that we want to be loved so we call it love..

we cry and make all kinds of possible show when someone whom we love is no more around.. is that love??
as far as I am concerned love by no means is to bound a person or change a person.. it is as eternel as birth or death. If we shout because the one whom we loved is no more is there this mean we didn;t loved, we wanted to be loved... so isn;t it business, the much needed evil of society.

Infact most of us do business in the shades of love.. we all expect something or the other from the one we love.. we all demand from love.. it is like you give that and I love you... and that demand might be of a physical, emotional or anything but we do.

Is love all about being physical, mean you see someone so you love someone.. you know so you love.. you together sipping a coffee in AC, hands in hands and smile is on lips is expression of love? isn;t that again our need for possesion of someone.. capturing the way they think.. the way they talk. their way of walking.. possesion of their personality.

infact our parents never loved us.. because they were never loved by their own parents.. this is like a continued chain where each one passes on the legacy to their seccesor.. though they were all protective towards our welfair by all posible means of things they had.. but in that way.. didn;t they went too far in imposing their own personality on us.. can;t beleive on what I am saying... think about any reaction of your's and compare it with your respective parents.. doesn;t it gives their impression? So whose personality are we living into? Are we independent?? or we are still in womb.. in ths case an invisible one which is enveloped around us in terms of thinking? in terms of actions.. and all we do??

Don;t we look for to acheive perfection.. and for me a perfectionist is one who can never love.. because he tries to impose.. to change.. to seek perfection... to seek a perfect man or woman.. but first thing is that nothing exists called as perfect man or woman and if there is something.. then they are looking for perfect on their own side.. so never look for perfection in love..

For me.. love is all to give.. not to expect.. this is one place where no business.. love is not having a sip of coffee sitting at some cafe but remain thirsty if it helps.. love is not about sleeping with the one you love.. but to be awake all those nights if it makes them feel secure in their sleep.. love for me is not saying "I love you to my parents" but leaving out their shadow and being independent and then loving them as they are with all their habits... Loving a brother doesn;t mean making him win always.. but being with him when he is all blue on mood and red on cheeks as a outcome of slap his friend gave him.. loving a sister means let her have her own way of life with what he wants. loving a relative means that seeing them just as a human.. and respecting their individualism.,.

Loing everyone, for me means fighting for them till last drop of blood, till there is even a single wasp of air is there in our lungs... and making sure you maken them see that you did acheived what they wished for you. without even caring that wether they know or not.. wether there is someone to love you or not.. making sure that they can with pride say that "They LOVED you" and all they said about you was right.. they were never wrong.. they were always their;s

Because love is not expecting.. love is all about giving.. all about caring.. all about forgiving.. and I forgive everyone..

a single moment

While clearing my old paper bag a few days back, I just accidentally stumbled onto that old file.. and paper slipped out.. I looked at those paper envelop taken from one of my friend and felt amused. The person was very sweet and God bless his soul though I wondered what prompted him to pack that envelope.. that letter.. that diary.. those some pics. And then why didn't he gave them to me... Was he not sure of something? What thoughts exactly would had crossed his mind.. what he would had thought while packing that all.. I suddenly felt like my legs going weak and I need to support my falling structure.. I crashed on my bed.. And suddenly, like some TV serial.. flash back started on screen of my mind..

She hated me the first time she saw me at our colony.. for her shock.. I was also present at all the prominent tutors where she joined accidentally.. I was then staying alone.. Leading a reckless life.. driving like no man’s business... and busy with my studies like mad.. but slowly and gradually she started getting inclined towards me.. I guess it were just my studies that made her think about me.. She by then knew that I was not completely a looser.. and I was quite bright in my studies.. 4 months crossed.. both of us staying nearby, taking same roads to push us on path of our enlightenment.. but still not a single word spoken.. except groans of her was changed into a smile whenever our eyes met..

“Can you please give me that booklet of your’s”??

Were the first words I heard directed on
me… while I was rushing to catch my already late schedule of day.. on my way from home..

Umm.. ok.. once I come back.. but why?

I was unable to attend the classes for last 3 days.. don’t you know?? I mean have you also
not gone to Mr. Saxena since then?

No I did.. but I guess you didn’t noticed.. anyways.. forget it..

Yaa.. why will you notice?

Will hand it over once I am back in evening..

And I again pumped my bike.. and suddenly braked after about 30 meters…and turned…

To my surprise.. she was there.. and I came back.

“Why did you miss classes??”

“Because I got slipped and can’t move much… and then driving scooty is not possible”

“Ok.. will you be able to get ready in next 5 mins..”

“Why”…

“Is that some new way to define agreement or disagreement?”

And she slowly moved away laughing..

And that was our first brief conversation.. yes.. it was brief because it didn’t took her long to confess as how much she hated me.. my sense of clothing.. my sense of talking in puzzles.. my way of driving bike.. and it was further increased as soon as she joined me in my study sessions at home…

Just in two weeks.. she confessed her inclination towards me… and to that.. I followed… life
was all rosy… as a cheek after a hard slap…

Yes.. we were in love… as in love of not those bollywood movies where you dance around the trees.. and giggles on everything and anything… but in a love where we wanted to raise our levels of intellect.. where we wanted to each other the winner in their own segment.. In the meantime a year passed.. and I was slotting myself hard to clear that engineering test.. it was like “THE THING” for me at that time.. and I did done pretty well in that…

Passed more time and now we just started college… again both of us together in same class and same subjects… and then it happened.. my result came. And to my surprise.. I did cleared… I cleared exam with a very good rank.. and after counseling I was assured for a seat at one of the best institutions of this country..

But then she was not happy.. I had to decide between one of two things.. either engineering.. a dream which I lived for past 4 years or she.. for whom I was a dream of her life.. and something inside told me to opt for her dream.. what if I am not an engineer… does life stops there… I can do pretty good with engineering provided she is with me”…

My family came to know about my decision of not doing engineering and tried to convince me.. though they were sure that I will never come to terms on that issue… and when my dad insisted not to believe on my logic of not liking the crowd or college or feeling homesick.. and many more like that.. I had to tell him the truth.. after taking his words not to mention ever the same.. till I am sleeping silently in my grave..

He said “life is not so straight as you think”… I debated and asked the meaning and he smiled… just a smile which I can never forget now.. though at that time it was one of those, which I was having from everyone.. my friends. My tutors.. my relatives.. whomsoever was becoming aware about my decision of not joining engineering..

Life moved again.. I forgot the incident.. but this did left me with a unusual silence.. I became condensed to myself.. a chatterbox was running low on battery.. In between.. she was also having problems with her studies.. we have crossed first year exams of our graduation and her father wanted her to educate her on business skills to which she in turn came to me.. to meet her father..

“What do you want to do in your life”.. was his first question.. without asking me how am I
doing in my life..

And I was silent… tightlipped.. as if someone has taken away my voice.. my vocal cords left me alone to the pressure.. I kept looking on floor.. why can’t earth take me into her lap.. I tried with all my imagination but no answers..

“How much can you leave to be with her?”

And I thought.. isn’t love suppose to join? Why do I need to leave something to be with her.. haven’t I left much already to prove my loyality?? But I was unable to utter even a single word..

“Can you leave your family for her??”

And with this.. something happened… and next moment I found my legs carrying my rest of body weight and pushing it out of her place… I wanted to stop but was unable to do so.. suddenly I lost control on myself.. unable to say anything.. unable to see.. unable to speak.. unable to breath.. nose dripping with blood.. eyes complete red.. and I left her place…

I kept waiting for her on my hospital bed where I was admitted.. I had almost broken my left leg in a collision with a bike.. while I was running senselessly after coming out from her home to reach mine.. also I had some stitches on my forehead.. as a effect of my head’s meeting with ground with all the load of thoughts running everywhere in my mind..

Anyways.. she did came once I reached home.. but I could not find the same soul in her.. it was as if Osama was dressed in a dhoti and lathi to show as Gandhi.. to preach about ahinsa.. and I was told that her dad disapproves me… they want someone with ambitions.. someone who has a business mind.. someone who knows how to interpret figures.. Someone who can do presentations.. Someone who can influence.. though I know all the figures and mathematical operations.. but I was no good once it comes to interpret them..

So I was no good for her and her’s business.. I could had just ruined it all.. she would had to be just a wife of another service guy.. which her businessman father disapproves to..

I laughed my soul out.. but why… wasn’t I suppose to cry.. no. never. I will never.. guys don’t cry.. don’t we all know that.. men feels no pain.. “What do you think of this all?”

“I have just came to tell you that, and please forget me. And if possible please shift yourself so that we don’t see each other.. why had you not spoken anything.. “

“Because I didn’t had answers to all those questions”

“Yeah.. my dad puts up right word for it… you are a LOOSER, you left in between because of that…”

“but I didn’t spoken because of you.. I left because if I would had said something… it would had hurt you and your father.. listen.. stop..”

I kept taking to myself.. telling myself that she did listened to all I said.. but she already left with a single word “LOOSER”

I did shifted my residence.. I replaced everything.. did everything she hated me for.. smoked my longs out.. boozed bottles out.. drove till roads ended.. but still I remember to those words.. with every passing breath.. I am a looser..

I shifted from my own city where every third face was known, to wander around in a city where I even can’t identify myself after a day.. and here I am today.. a accredited software engineer from Microsoft.. a MBA from one of premier institute of country.. working with one of biggest brand of country.. managing business.. making presentations.. interpreting data.. influencing decisions.. communicating to all known and unknown.. seen and unseen.. a voice which instills confidence to many.. puts a smile on faces..

Sometimes my friends asked why did I left software where I was been paid twice as much as I am now.. why did I choose something which was completely alien to me. And jumped into business management.. into Marketing…

She went away from my life, my vision, my word but for some strange reason, I had the notion that if I made it into business, she would come back to me someday. I worked hard day and
night. Without eating, without meeting anyone. just secluding myself into a room with books.. and I did make it.

Though now, I realized, we were not meant to be together.. I did thought that it would be tough or rather unimaginable to live without her.. she was blood for my veins.. but now that has been flown out on roads.. in hospitals long back… the shine of my eyes is long back burnt in all those nights I didn’t slept thinking about her.. thinking to make her dream true.. it was just to make sure that she will someday be able to go to her dad and tell him that she was right in choosing me.. he failed in identifying.. his guts and skills of identification for once were proven wrong.. I want to show him that I am still surviving… and surviving without her daughter… I might not be alive today.. still I am walking.. she has won over her dad..

And here came the always smiling face of Tyagi in my mind.. not as in who leave everything.. but my friend “Nirdesh Tyagi”.. who was with me silently all the way while I was fighting for my survival.. who always made sure that my wishes come true from whatever he can do..

and I was given that envelope of her photographs of her marriage by Tyagi’s wife after he met in an accident and left for another world.. leaving me alone again..

That envelope was kept by him as a hidden item in his bag, with a letter addressed to me saying that I never lost anything.. it was all bound to happen.. it was she who lost me.. and also in his diary the day we separated was marked in red.. as a blood shedding day.. and most of the things we use to do together..

I brought that envelope with me without thinking anything and dumped it with other personnel stationary items.. and never opened it.. it kept traveling all the places with me.. and now I was just left with some last papers of one of my closest friend.. and memories of my love.. lost love..

I was sure after we separated that she will get married to someone one day.. and I thought I will not be able to survive knowing that.. but today I am surviving.. managing.. communicating.. interpreting… presenting.. without even knowing if she even is aware of my existence and if she will ever come to know??

I guess some moments have a power to change everything.. and some questions doesn;t have answers..

why and only why

mai.n pal do pal ka shaayar huu.n
pal do pal merii kahaanii hai
pal do pal merii ha.nstii hai
pal do pal merii jawaanii hai
mai.n pal do pal ka shaayar huu.n

mujhse pahale kitne shaayar aaye aur aakar chale gaye
kuchh aahe.n bharkar laut gaye
kuchh nagme gaakar chale gaye
voh bhii ek pal ka qissa tha
mai.n bhii ek pal ka qissa huu.n
kal tumse judaa ho jaa'uu.nga
voh aaj tumhaara hissa huu.n
mai.n pal do pal ka shaayar huu.n

kal aur aa'e.nge nagmo.n kii
khiltii kaliyaa.n chunnevaale
mujhse behatar kahanevaale
tumse behatar sunnevaale
kal koii mujhko yaad kare
kyo.n koii mujhko yaad kare
masaruuf zamaana mere li'e
kyo.n vaqt apna barbaad kare
mai.n pal do pal ka shaayar huu.n

So powerful a song... defines the true self of possessed thinking of a life cycle of mankind.. which is so very delicate and though filled with past present and future..

what is future.. will be present and eventually will decay into past.. then why don;t we accept it in it;s completeness..

it;s like knowing something without accepting.. it;s like a pigeon closing it;s eyes when encountering the cat, thinking that if it can;t see cat, then cat also can;t see him.. why??

And for that matter why cat;s were been made if God was there knowing that they can harm pigeons... isn't they say that God is there... there for everyone.. then why is pain?? or God only instills it to make sure that mankind remembers it to it;s greatness..

Isn;t it that he proves his worthiness by using coercive forces?? so very cheating.. but does he has any other way to prove?

Do we guys really respect truth??? or is there any truth for that matter? What is happines?? Is it absence of sadness or is it numbness??? or is it that period of hallucination when you no more feel??

Does someone who dares to speak truth need to be awarded with tears and agony?? what is that which one person controls over other except the momentary togetherness?? or virtual proximity for that matter?? what a voice does which gets your dear and the very next moment it just deprives you from your very ownself??

Is there anything which is permanent?? is there something which doesn;t decays over a period of time.. which doesn;t changes with the change of a moment?? why there has to be conditions fixed with everything and anything? why one person need to loose in order to let other person win?? why is that someone need to prove?

We people believe that the first person landed on moon was Neil Arm Strong.. we believe that Telephone was invented by Gramophone... we believe that Ram cruised to lanka with support of monkeys.. riding over sea tides on the floating stones.. and killed a devil ravana.. to get his wife back from him... whom he happily let go away because there was just a washerman who suspected over her purity and character.. what a shit.. a wonderfully written mythical shit.. why Sita was asked to go through the fire to prove that she is pure and what gave right to Mr. Ram of being a saint?? why he was never ever questioned for his own purity... wasn't he also had too many females around him.. or was there any ram or sita??? but we all beleive in them.. their story.. their heavenly tasks... but if I tell you that I have just ran for 10 mins you guys will have your eyebrows flying to sky.. you will never believe if you even spot me taking over phone for anything more than a minute and that also with smile..

Is it required that i need to be sleeping with everyone I talk to for longer than a minute and with a smile? or for that matter any female who is not my sister or daughter or mother need to be my girlfriend, keep or my wife for me to have a right to talk to her? WHY??

Why is that coin is two faced? why is that happiness is engulfed by sadness.. why is that up is related to down?? why ? why ? why ?

I fear now from every passing moment.. I broke my promise not to hurt her.. I broke my promise to myself.. I made her cry.. I made her look down.. n now I even fear to hear her.. I fear to face her.. though I never did... but that fear shivers out my bones... I broke my promise to myself to be a changed person... the one who will only spread happiness.. but I spitted venom.. I did.. and did that with all efficiency.. without any efforts..

I lost to myself ... lost in the battle which I had from me.. demolition drive canceled.. encroachment is again on it;s full spree.. and I am not sure if I will ever be able to regain my confidence... not on her.. but on myself to have that kind of authority on her... to shout.. and I can;t even cry..

Had there been any vertical scale to rate confidence ... mine would had been the rock bottom.. had there been a great noble award for cruelty.. I would had been awarded thrice in a year for my deeds... had there been a punishment for same.. I would had been crucified a million times.. considering I being a judge for that execution.. without even any if's and but's and long lawyer panels.. this situation just sucks.. sucks a big time..


A lot of questions and a lot of wishes... unanswered.. unfulfilled..

jo dikhta hai..

Jeevan Main Ek Sitara Tha
Maana Vah Behad Pyara Tha
Vah Doob Gaya To Doob Gaya
Ambar Kay Aanan Ko Dekho
Kitne Iskay Taare Toote
Kitne Iskay Pyare Choote
Jo Choot Gaye Fir Kahan Mile
Par Bolo Toote Taaron Par
Kab Ambar Shok Manata Hai
Jo Beet Gayi So Baat Gayi

- By Dr. Harivansh Rai Bacchan

Such a powerful words.. such a noble thought.. takes you completely on a journey towards your dreams..

dreams.. some fulfilled.. some messed.. like those old rose buds lying in some old books.. on the corners of bookshelf..

Life is so very dynamic.. every passing moment you get into a new lifetime.. you get on a new joy.. new hatred.. new thoughts... but why is that you need to leave one to get one.. isn;t that unfair..

why it can;t be one and one rather than being one or one.. why can;t someone have his cake and eat that too...

Why is that words fail when they are needed the most.. why the mankind is so very deprived to the basic instincts.. why do we hurt them who loves us the most.. or is it that we can only hurt those who loves us?? think about it??

we have invented ways to reach on moon.. conquer the mars... see neptune.. gauze the speed of light.. but why is that we have not been able to even slightly find a way to gauze the feelings.. have we succeeded in inventing any gadget which can just evaporate the sadness and instill all love and happiness..

we invented the mobile so that we can catch each other whenever we want.. or rather we can let our voice travel without the bonding of location and wires.. but why is that we fail to invent something which can remind us that we need to speak in order to travel..

when was the last time when any of us would had exactly followed our commitment to our family.. our friends?? we invented mail and mobile but also language invented words such as "Call you back in 2 mins".. "will right back".. "will write back",

we invented dictionaries.. invented new words.. but we failed to use them.. what was the last time when any of us told our mom that.. she is an angel of our life.. the care she does for us is not comparable.. when we kissed on her cheeks.. when did we hold the hand of our dad and told him how much do we love him.. when we patted our younger once to tell them that we are there for them..

we can speak for hours on any given topic but speaking to family n friends is like shortened to mins or rather less.. and "Aur batao"... "what;s up" is taking place of "thanks for being there..".. and "we do care"..

how many times had we asked our colleagues about the problem they face when we enjoy after delegating.. how many times have we thanked that auto driver or ticket collector.. or anyone who helps us for that matter...

think what had been if they would not had been there...

and then.. today.. family and loved once are been shifted to last priority... isn;t that?? homes have turned into a shelter.. where we just drop in to eat.. sleep and fight... casually smiling is also a ritual to be carried with delicacy... isn;t that???

and we only realize the value of all these when this is not there... so guys rush before it;s too late.. I realize it today.. but then come Dr. Bacchan who tells me not to think twice before forgetting everything.. so I am happy.. happy as ever... so what if someone shredded tears for me... so what if I broke some mighty sweet heart swiftly... so what if my running off caused pain.. so what if my independent behavior make someone feel lost.. I will not change.. because change causes pain.. and I will not take pain.. let there be superficiality.. let there be page 3 smiles.. because "Jo dikhta hai, vo bikta hai".. isn;t that???

time..

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years"
- Abraham Lincoln

So true these words are.. can someone even define the time.. such a immortal task.. as heavy as shifting the pyramid.. or taking Pisa's minar to be a 100% horizontal direction..

Time.. as it sounds. is not something which can be measured by the hands ticking of clock.. I don't think so.. it too static to be used.. I guess time needs some real dynamic gadget to measure it... don;t agree with me.. take this example..

.. time strolls on real heavy feet sometimes..

a minute seems like an hour for a patient in a grief pain waiting for a shot...
.. every second seems like an hour for someone waiting for someone to arrive
an hour seems like a sec while you are talking to your loved once..
.. did you ever noticed flying time while you feel breathless to take on that question..
.. did you ever sat on the window and counted the stars in sky while waiting for someone to wake up and call..
did you ever noticed jammed hands of clock .. not moving even a bit while your one of loved one cry out loud.. for something you did unexpectedly.. you feel like vanishing with a spoof and still everything around you freezes..

I guess clock changes it's pace... pace timed as per the occasion... isn;t that.. else why it shows that it is more than 5 hr's and 5 mins passed.. instead of showing time clocked between 0 to 2 mins... something I guess I will never be able to understand.. and I need a mind of sir Newton to feel the euraca..

and when time is so dynamic then how can we take it as a measure.. I always say..
"Never judge my age by the number of years I had been on this planet.." the sole reason of that is just this nature of time..

with someone you just meet and feel like you know from a lifetime.. and to other;s you meet daily and still the stranger feeling thrives.. isn;t that??

What can be used to measure the implausibility of time... it;s motion.. is there any way?? can someone help??

encroachment.. a lot of crap

"Everything I do.. I do it for u"..

Such a powerful song it is.. isn;t that.. sometimes they create legends out of simple words.. and this song is one of them... floating with the words.. I read somewhere ..

They said words die out once they are spoken..
.. I feel they get life only after they are spoken...

And I agree with the later part.. words can be so much powerful.. that they can defy the neuclear explosion.. and at the same time.. those are also words which makes a king look away from his worldly comfort and throne and go with just a simple girl... words are only which can make or break..

words though known as just a bunch of characters... can make a characteristic chart of anyone... I hope some of you will vouch for it.. am I anything more than words..

"Words.. n words are all I have to take your heart away".. next song in que..

I think I am just going crazy.. music is taking me into it;s grip.. reminding me to leave this esthetically featuring planet.. n take me for a trip to trans...

Infact... I have been now given verdict in simple words... that I need to start living or I will be pakka killed.. maar daala jaaonga... (hey people.. please inform police.. n please make a note of this.. my killer;s address can be found from the map lying beneath my ashtray)..

anyways.. leaving that kiddish part.. U know guys... the powerful words poured into my ears are alive.. n seriously.. I have promised myself to follow.. follow religiously..

I will do my best to achieve that level.. I will.. and I will dedicate myself for myself.. I know my writing is effected due to that.. u know i am in a transition phase.. a phase where I am fighting to myself.. fighting to my very own self... to get out of myself.. to be me.. just me... these are just the vibrations of the thunder going inside.. due to messy demolition going inside me...the encroachment done my my own empathy needed to be cleaned... the drain cover on my feelings need to be taken off to clean that... the streets of my belief need to get a pending wash and new street lights of faith need to be installed... the unauthorized shops opened at every nook and corner selling resentment.. agony... anger needed to be demolished...

my state is more or less is like Delhi... overloaded by traffic of thinking... polluted by the dust of roughness.. and then encroached by it's ownself.. but now if delhi can gear up for 2010... why can;t I??? I will and I will... promise to myself.. n I will.. and u will c that... it;s a word.. this encroachment will go off...

I can produce a lot of crap with words.. if the people who invented the language can see this page... I will pakka be cleaned from this planet.. n they will make sure I don;t supersede any other planet also.. isn;t that...

P.S: I have strucked a deal with Disprin guys to pay me to boost their sales... N i guess by now if u survived... u will sure need one.. so please do use my reference... god bless you.. need to contact some more companies... papi pet ka sawaal hai uncle..


"Jo jubaan ko itni aazaadi naa hoti..
.. to shabdoon ki itni barbaadi naa hoti.."