why and only why

mai.n pal do pal ka shaayar huu.n
pal do pal merii kahaanii hai
pal do pal merii ha.nstii hai
pal do pal merii jawaanii hai
mai.n pal do pal ka shaayar huu.n

mujhse pahale kitne shaayar aaye aur aakar chale gaye
kuchh aahe.n bharkar laut gaye
kuchh nagme gaakar chale gaye
voh bhii ek pal ka qissa tha
mai.n bhii ek pal ka qissa huu.n
kal tumse judaa ho jaa'uu.nga
voh aaj tumhaara hissa huu.n
mai.n pal do pal ka shaayar huu.n

kal aur aa'e.nge nagmo.n kii
khiltii kaliyaa.n chunnevaale
mujhse behatar kahanevaale
tumse behatar sunnevaale
kal koii mujhko yaad kare
kyo.n koii mujhko yaad kare
masaruuf zamaana mere li'e
kyo.n vaqt apna barbaad kare
mai.n pal do pal ka shaayar huu.n

So powerful a song... defines the true self of possessed thinking of a life cycle of mankind.. which is so very delicate and though filled with past present and future..

what is future.. will be present and eventually will decay into past.. then why don;t we accept it in it;s completeness..

it;s like knowing something without accepting.. it;s like a pigeon closing it;s eyes when encountering the cat, thinking that if it can;t see cat, then cat also can;t see him.. why??

And for that matter why cat;s were been made if God was there knowing that they can harm pigeons... isn't they say that God is there... there for everyone.. then why is pain?? or God only instills it to make sure that mankind remembers it to it;s greatness..

Isn;t it that he proves his worthiness by using coercive forces?? so very cheating.. but does he has any other way to prove?

Do we guys really respect truth??? or is there any truth for that matter? What is happines?? Is it absence of sadness or is it numbness??? or is it that period of hallucination when you no more feel??

Does someone who dares to speak truth need to be awarded with tears and agony?? what is that which one person controls over other except the momentary togetherness?? or virtual proximity for that matter?? what a voice does which gets your dear and the very next moment it just deprives you from your very ownself??

Is there anything which is permanent?? is there something which doesn;t decays over a period of time.. which doesn;t changes with the change of a moment?? why there has to be conditions fixed with everything and anything? why one person need to loose in order to let other person win?? why is that someone need to prove?

We people believe that the first person landed on moon was Neil Arm Strong.. we believe that Telephone was invented by Gramophone... we believe that Ram cruised to lanka with support of monkeys.. riding over sea tides on the floating stones.. and killed a devil ravana.. to get his wife back from him... whom he happily let go away because there was just a washerman who suspected over her purity and character.. what a shit.. a wonderfully written mythical shit.. why Sita was asked to go through the fire to prove that she is pure and what gave right to Mr. Ram of being a saint?? why he was never ever questioned for his own purity... wasn't he also had too many females around him.. or was there any ram or sita??? but we all beleive in them.. their story.. their heavenly tasks... but if I tell you that I have just ran for 10 mins you guys will have your eyebrows flying to sky.. you will never believe if you even spot me taking over phone for anything more than a minute and that also with smile..

Is it required that i need to be sleeping with everyone I talk to for longer than a minute and with a smile? or for that matter any female who is not my sister or daughter or mother need to be my girlfriend, keep or my wife for me to have a right to talk to her? WHY??

Why is that coin is two faced? why is that happiness is engulfed by sadness.. why is that up is related to down?? why ? why ? why ?

I fear now from every passing moment.. I broke my promise not to hurt her.. I broke my promise to myself.. I made her cry.. I made her look down.. n now I even fear to hear her.. I fear to face her.. though I never did... but that fear shivers out my bones... I broke my promise to myself to be a changed person... the one who will only spread happiness.. but I spitted venom.. I did.. and did that with all efficiency.. without any efforts..

I lost to myself ... lost in the battle which I had from me.. demolition drive canceled.. encroachment is again on it;s full spree.. and I am not sure if I will ever be able to regain my confidence... not on her.. but on myself to have that kind of authority on her... to shout.. and I can;t even cry..

Had there been any vertical scale to rate confidence ... mine would had been the rock bottom.. had there been a great noble award for cruelty.. I would had been awarded thrice in a year for my deeds... had there been a punishment for same.. I would had been crucified a million times.. considering I being a judge for that execution.. without even any if's and but's and long lawyer panels.. this situation just sucks.. sucks a big time..


A lot of questions and a lot of wishes... unanswered.. unfulfilled..