..air around

"time is ever changing.. so get use to it".. was what came as a surprising quote while I was just flipping pages of some ebook I was deep sunk into..

I don;t know but something in these words had a power.. kind of power which suddenly made me stop and think.. to ponder over the life a bit..

"Change is inevitable".. and all of us know this.. so I m not tyring to get some discovery made out of this... but sometimes, a single instance, a single action, a single line has a power to change, to stop, and that;s what happened..

My jaws dropped with a thud while I started pondering over the time.. just what was happening around.. and trying to realise it in form of a outsider.. without any connect to the present circumtances..

the hell of changes I am passing through.. madly running around is now don;t seem to me as a one more job.. it;s like more or less a regular job.. much like doing morning jobs.. or so.. I am very sure of that if my current company throws me out of job, I will certainly be able to earn enough from my recently aquired skill of driving, and also sense of directions.. I no more feel missing in this cemented desert.. every moment has got something to learn from.. it;s what you take and make out from it.. I learnt driving.. and driving.. without stop.. without complaint... on people's wills and facies.. just without logic.. I learn how to reach.. reach out unknown places. by grappling on my sense of direction.. suddenly I felt I am growing.. for better or worst is unknown.. but for sure it is a progress...

No more the pale face of my family members shocks me.. this is usual for me.. I use to just get worries from something called as ward.. ward of hospital use to make me feel nausia.. but now I can easily sit there.. drink tea.. no more staring eyes of care takes detoriates my thinking process.. no more the sheening light of the eyes stammers my vision.. it's usual.. one more skill learnt.. I can also apply to be atleast a guard or cleaner or a sweeper at a hospital.. without feeling anything.. just without any connect..

mobile is now been used again like a alarm.. alarm to wake me up in morning.. and it is again slowely going to the side table shifting it;s location from the my-left-or-right-side to being besides.. just a ignored-one-more thing.. no more i expect to heat a famous beep-beep in night or morning.. inflation has certainly got to do something with economy.. it is really making people do away from their money.. costs are really rising on a faster than supersonic plane's pace.. though I never thought that it can change the whole preposition so much in just about a week.. I have started coming on terms with it.. you know.. I learnt here also.. learn that do never be dependent.. do never expect... expectations only make you feel.. good or bad.. and I committed myself not to feel.. and with the past three weeks training... I can sms while doing virtually anything.. driving.. taking bath... studying.. meeting.. else I have not taken medicine to support my sleep.. because that really makes it impossible to get up with a small beep.. people.. you can outsource your sms-ing.. new business.. or side business..

And when I saw all my short term assignment turning into daily jobs.. I realised that attitudewise I have now became so cold to things that you can profoundly take me home and make me stand in a corner and do away with your tower AC;s installed there.. and still u will get freezing chill in the month of july at top floor of Delhi.. mere exagratting.. though if attitude could had turned down the temperature.. I would had by now became a ICE-MAN, whom the government would had been using to chill the overheated parliament.. polititions would had been fighting elections on name of bringing me to Rajasthan with a promise that I am capable to getting a snowfall in mid of desert if I cough.. and they will create a holiday on ice show onto that if they win..

someone once asked if I felt bad about what was said... and I thought before uttering the worlds... that I will think about it.. and when I thought the resonance of following came into my mind..
"Nayanam Chiddanti Shastrani.. nayanam dahati pawaka"..
said by Krishna to Arjun in battlefeild of Kurushetra.. and it reminds me of some very basics of life.. and as I am a soul.. trying to librate from this corpus like body.. hence worlds and circumtaces doesn;t matter.. they can no way do something... infact if I am a divine flame as they say.. I could not agree more that i will not feel... neither bad nor good.. and if I am not one.. then I don't hold any dignity... to feel.. good or bad... so why to just create air around..